'Bad Songs' responses
professional, constructive criticism
Brenda & John
Wanna laugh? Sing any song by Hall & Oates in a fake Hindustani accent (kinda like Apu on the Simpsons). You'll need to change the lyrics just a little bit, but here's what we mean: "Man-eater"
Wo-oh, here she is approaching
You will be hyper-observant, my friend, for she will be masticating
you!
WO-OH! the approach is final!
She is what is known as a man-eater!
You get the picture...so whenever those hideous old songs come a-creeping,
just slip into your Apu shoes...ahhhhh, isn't that better? Have fun!
Thomas
I loved your site, but I think you forgot another trash-song of the
70's:
The Golden Balloons with their smash hit: "I wish I was a glamrocker".
I think there must me more Sympho-rock bands on the list!
Bill (no relation to Carl) Douglas
As a former "Gold" radio programmer I must say that your blatant diss-regard
for some of the finest music ever written and produced is a sad commentary
on Bwaaa ha ha ha ha!!!! Sorry, I couldn't do it. Your sight is hilarious,
I must admit a few of those songs (Kung Fu Fighting) lurk in my record
collection's dirty little secret guilty pleasure section. But I keep them
because they are so laughably bad. Nothing can put a smile on my face quite
so much as The Night Chicago Died, or Billy Don't be a Hero. Keep updating
the sight...perhaps a section on The most pretentious bands of all time....I'm
sure my faves like Echo and the Bunnymen, U2, and Velvet Underground will
turn up there too.
David LeMoine
I accidently bumped into your site while looking for something else.
What
disturbed me most was the fact that I own most of these songs (on vinyl
of
course) and listen to them on occassion and get "misty"...how sad is
that.
You two have pretty much nailed them. However, wasn't Frankie
Valli's "You're
having my baby" released in the '70s? Just wondering. Given
time I could
probably add to your list (since I own most of the suck-wad stuff from
that era.
It is a good thing that I discovered the Clash (best UK Band of all
time)
and the Replacements (one of the best US Bands of all time) Otherwise
I might
be a stock broker and yearning for those songs.
Noelle
The list is awesome, even though a handful are rather dear to me....do
you
guys have other lives? I mean, how did you remember that stuff?
Benjamin Port
Subject: Run Joey Run
'Daddy, please don't, it wasn't his fault, he means so much to me...' Why couldn't her father be more of a 90's kinda guy, blow both Joey and the
whiney daughter away, the record producer who committed it to vinyl and then
put the gun in his own mouth. So much more efficient that way. :)
Dave C
Hey guys. I listen to these songs on the Classic hits stations. I guess being a teenager in the '70s, I remember the bad ones vividly & regret that there were not as many classics as there were in the '60s. Then again my hazy recollections were affected by substance abuse. You can't really lie back & "get into" disco. Although discos were good places to pick up women (so I was told). Pink Floyd was my saviour. Is listing these songs equivalent to gawking at a carcrash?
Eric Rife
I may have missed them on the "Worst Songs of The
70s" list, but I didn't see Rush listed. Any band that hails the
supposed merits of Ayn Rand is so thoroughly despicable they certainly
deserve to be thrown in the same shitbin as Abba and Eric Carmen.
Big Andy
You guys have a great site here! I do a weekly seventies radio show at my
college radio station, and your page has been a great help to me in
compiling next week's playlist. Especially since I wasn't alive in the
seventies, so a lot of the stuff you guys list is new to me, but each one a
gem. All the cheeseball songs we hate ourselves for loving are here.
Great job!
richard johnson
I don't see any Steve Miller on your list at all. He could really be a
single entry since you should probably list every song on every album to
do justice to his miserable badness. Or you could just hit the lowlights
as you did with the Eagles.
Matt Geoghan
Nice list, "Love is in the Air" makes me want to die.
Javier Ortiz
hello! I'm campa from "mexico" and i'm looking for This will be lyrics to Natalie Cole
I hope you could help me.
Paul J. Pasquerella
I found that the worst of the
bunch were the ones that really grew on me now; call it some sort of
perverse and ironic postmodern affectation. I know I'm not alone in
falling prey to that - just read any article in any magazine like
Details or RayGun or the like. I don't remember who I stole this from
but the way the universe works is this. About 90% of
everything is relatively mediocre and thereby not worth a passing
thought; about 5% of everything is genius and has been so well analyzed
dissected documented and discussed that it's difficult to say anything
new about it; and the remaining 5% of everything is so truly ghastly
that it too approaches genius as promoting stunned incredulity that
human beings could ever create something so abominable. It takes,
however, a warped and twisted sensibility to live with those artifacts
of the lower echelon five percent on a regular basis.
Fortunately, current American culture has become fairly warped and twisted, and in a very deliberate and self-conscious fashion, at least compared to previous eras when someone like Joe DiMaggio actually could be a hero to a nation. Hence, the contemporary fascination with the 70's, the decade that truly set the standard for bad taste in the twentieth century. (Even those other two aesthetic lows, the 1980's and the 1900's, have nothing on the 1970's.) I guess the gist of my missive here is to ask you all not to be angered by the truly horrible but revel in its excesses; take it for what it is and run. Plus, if you didn't have the bad, the good would not stand out in such clear detail.
Marc
unfortunately, YOUR LISTING SOUNDS LIKE LATE-NITE TV 70'S MUSIC ADVERTS.
EXCEPT FOR A FEW I DISAGREE WITH (TEENY-BOP ABBA, ETC) YOU PUT A LOT OF
JUNK IN ITS PLACE. IF ONLY SATANISM WOULD COLLAPSE AND "POP" MUSIC >>>DIE
TITANIC SONG<<< WOULD PREVAIL, I'D GO OUT AND BUY SOME SINGLES (ALBUMS
ALWAYS SUCK, EXCEPT FOR ONE SONG...), UPGRADE MY STEREO, PUT IN 200 CDs OF
QUALITY SINGLES AND TURN ON THE RADIO WHEN I GOT TIRED OF WHAT I HAD, FIND
OUT WHAT IS NEW AND GOOD, AND GO BUY SOME MORE. NOW FOR THE 90s, IS THERE
ANY HOPE??? BESTIAL BOYS ARE (B)ACK! I THINK I BOUGHT 5 CDs FOR THIS ENTIRE
DECADE. WHAT ABOUT THE SONG ABOUT COOKING EGGS WITH A SMILEY FACE? TIME TO
TOSS YOUR GRITS!!
Rick
First of all, I have to commit the ultimate sin and say that I do like and
even love some of your hated songs. However, I do see your own right to
opinion. I might have called the list "The Cheesiest Songs of the
Seventies", because every great artist and group of the seventies did
something someone could call "bad". But let me just end this by saying
that this list and the insane "hate" mail you received are two of the most
interesting items I've ever read on the Internet. (I guess I'd better sign
off now, as I am about to enjoy three minutes of "Billy, Don't be a Hero"!")
David Nicholas
my brain has rotted away while thinking of these songs.
Liam
YOU NEVER MENTIONED NAZARETH ON YOUR PAGE AT ALL!!!! sorry, I had to blow that steam off... but if you're going to attack such other musical greats as Glenn Campbell and Carly Simon.. you simply MUST hit Naz too ;)
Dan
Not a bad site, you're right, that music sucks... but why did you spend
time making that page? I've always considered music I don't like worthy
of absolutely no attention. By actually knowing the names of those songs
and the "artists" (snort), you've devoted far to much time and effort to
pure crap. Wait a minute... why am I writing this email.. I think I'll
sto-
Paul McNish
With very few exceptions your list of 'tunes' is on the mark - they
represent the mediocrity of the 70's as a whole.
Sincerely,
Middle aged baby boomer in Toronto
ZERWEKH
I believe Denis Leary said it best: "People sue heavy metal bands over suicidal lyrics. Ozzy Osbourne was sued over 'Suicide Solution' because some kid blew his head off. Does
this set a precedent? Can I sue Dan Fogelberg beacause I didn't get any
tit until I was 30?"
Mike Shatila
Here's a list of songs I don't think were on the list: Basketball Jones, The bitch is back, Play that funky music white boy, every single disco song that was made. The greatest bands of the 70's were: Deep Purple, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, The Iron Butterfly, Lynard Skynard, Cream, and a band that had their start in the early 70's and is still around today - the one and only Judas Priest.
Tony Panzica
Very cool list. I had almost forgotten about a lot of these songs. Being
reminded of them made me want to vomit. But you left one out. You have some
other Paul Anka songs, why not "One Man Woman, Two-Timing Man"?
Fritz Yunck
Subject: Come on, where's "Bette Davis Eyes"????
thanks for validating my opinion of Roberta Flack's output. To think that
woman had the number one song in '72 AND '73, geez I could never comprehend
that. But I happen to like 'Don't let the sun go down on me', so don't get the idea I
think your taste is impeccable or anything.
"Martinez, Ray"
My opinion (don't care if you're asking for it or not) is that
you hit alot of them right on target: Morris Albert, Rolling Stones
(brave), Leo Sayer. Butt... you only had half the guts because you
didn't include your list of "Greatsongs". You can't have a "Badsongs"
list without your "Greatsongs" list, ya Doof!!?? And don't lie that you
'aint got one!!! Growing up in the 70's was great. Radio was at it's
peak because you could hear stuff like 'Sly and the Family Stone' - 'Al
Green' for a few songs and then maybe 'Pink Floyd' or 'Charlie Pride'
the next. Nothing was segregated; it was a love for all. But
(unknowingly to many), radio was taking it's last breath. The funeral
(in case ya missed it), was in Jan. '81. So, summary: 1.) Follow up
with your "Greatsongs" list. (!!) & 2.) Start the "Badsongs of the
80's" list. I'm sure you'll get many affirming comments with that. Or
maybe even "Badmovies of the 70's/80's". Yaa!! "Carry on" girls.
E. Wilson
Just surfed to your most excellent shrine to 70s schlock. Eagerly scanning down the page I came to entries by Jim Croce and Harry
Chapin. Pretty much everything those two ever did makes me severely nauseous.
I just wanted to thank you for not succumbing to that odd notion that
after a musician dies, his/her music suddenly becomes worthy of acclaim
for no other reason than the musican is no longer physically capable of
horrifying the general public with more of the same. Thanks for bringing the web world a great site worthy of surfing to over
and over again. I would take my hat off to you, but unfortunately, I do
not own one.
Cecily Squier
Thank god I'm not the only one who hates "Hotel California". There's a lot of stuff I disagree with on the page, but your personal disdain for the Eagles makes it all worthwhile for me. I dunno, if you like ABBA (like I do) you're just asking for abuse anyway
Fritz Yunck
I can't help but wonder who decides which song out of an album will get the
radio play as the 'new single'. These people have a knack for choosing the most
inoffensive, bland, boring, just plain bad tune of the lot. Sadly, it's what
sells. Thanks for the chuckles!
cbjb
I'm trying to find out the name of the song and artist for a tune I
heard in a miller lite commercial. It sounds like a seventies tune and
it goes something like..."got off the bus stop (something
...something)...to a friend...I had my face in a book, I lost my place
when I took a look." If this sounds familiar please help me out. I'm a music junky and I
haven't had any luck at the miller website or the website of their ad
agency.
JGerren
I enjoyed your list - it sickened and amused me at the same time. However,
every song Billy Joel ever thought of releasing as a single should be on this
list. Especially now that he's being presented as some sort of "ARTISTE" on
things like VH1's storytellers (ooooh, the dizziness - fetch me my nitro-
glycerine capsules!!!). However, you did put the absolute worst one of his on the list. And in truth,
there may be no server big enough to handle a truly comprehesive list of all
of the worst of the seventies.
Traveler
"Don't Cry Out Loud" by
Melissa Manchester almost caused me to roll my car. I was flipping
through the channels when I heard that unearthly yelper belting out
'...JUST KEEP IT INSIIIIDE...LEARN HOW TO HIIIIIDE YOUR FEEEEEELINGS!!!"
and in my zeal to stop the pain I went left of center and nearly hit a
cement mixer. It goes past boldfacing. It deserves -BLINK-!
Ian Beresford
you guys in the US had it easy compared to us Brits - I need only
mention "Long Haired Lover from Liverpool" by Little Jimmy Osmond which I
assume you weren't subjected to unlike us with 5 weeks at Number 1.I could
also mention "Grandad" by Clive Dunn,"Ernie the fastest milkman" by Benny
Hill,"If" by Telly Savalas,"Save your Kisses for me" by Brotherhood of
Man.I'll have to stop there before I give myself nightmares.I agree that there
is a great deal of overtly "Rose Tinted" nostalgia about the 70's but if it
was the decade you grew up in like me(Age 4-14) then it did have some good
points - like flares,cheesecloth shirts and trousers with big pockets on the
thighs(did you have those in the US? - you could fit a phone book in each
pocket but needed arms like an Orangutan to reach them.)
Anyway enough of the reminiscing let's get back to the real shit.
Grandmaster C
All Meatloaf should be in boldface and everybody who bought it should be put to sleep. Anybody over the
age of 30 who bought Bat Out Of Hell II will smoke a turd in hell. This I decree. So it is written. So it shall
be done. And if I remember correctly, "Hold the Line" by Toto went "...hold the line...love isn't always on
time...wo-wo-wooooo...." (I feel no "wo-wo-wos" should go unpunished).
Chris Nemec
Thank you so much! In a world that is hyping the 1970's as the decade to have been in, I'm
glad there's still an oasis of sanity left where people who know what
sucks will say so.
Theodore G. Hammond
Thanks for the list. You've just come up with a great format. I'll put
them all from my personal collection onto my hard drive and market it
like Al Ham's "Music of Your Life". One man's garbage is another man's
treasure.
Steve Pearson
POP IS CRAP!, you are just extensively stating this... Wether it's the 30's, 40's, 60's, 70's, 80's or today, it's all the same shit... Then again, TV is crap, Hollywood is crap, McDonald's et al. are crap, that doesn't mean we can never indulge in them as we can in pop music. So you guys are 100% right but I'll stop here, David Gates' "Suite Clouds, Rain" (you forgot that one...) is playing on my 8 track...
Ben Stadelmann
I thought I had put the hell of growing up in the 70's behind me, and with
my radio dial welded to NPR I hoped to forget that blighted decade. Your
list brings it all back, one barf bag after another.
Trevlin L. Utz
Cosmopolitan souls that you are, you must
surely be Hip-to-the-Goof enough to realize that a fine tune like, for
instance, "Rock 'N' Roll Fantasy" by Bad Company adds that little extra
esprit-de-trash to a ride in any Camaro. Thank you for providing such an enswankulacious list
of vinyl "Don'ts". I will think of you fondly whenever I hear my
neighbours shrieking and tearing their flesh.
Kent Wayson
Does the absence of a particluar song on the list
imply that it's not a "bad" song? I ask because you are missing two of
my favorites by The Jimmy Castor Bunch: "Cave Man (Troglodyte)" ("her
name was Bertha/Bertha Butt/one of the Butt sisters") and "The Bertha
Butt Boogie" ("Betty!/Bella!/Bathsheba!/I need 'ya!"). And Sammy Davis Jr.'s version of the "Theme from 'Shaft'" is priceless
("can you dig it?").
Ron Salazar
Man, did most of this stuff blow!!! After the initial 'hey, I used to
get (drunk, stoned, laid, fill in the appropriate verb) to that song!',
reality set in. What is really funny is how pissed some of the people who write you
are. Jeezus! It's not like you said their God of choice sucks (or
their mother for that matter)! Get a grip people, it's just music.
Richard Rea
I thought I'd forgotten the 70's, that it was finally past me, then I
stumble across your site! The fears, the screaming, all coming back!
Art Hadley
Congratulations on assembling such a mind-boggling list of crap.
Wonderful! Excellent! I can annoy people all day with the songs I'll be singing now! Thanks!!!!!
Tee Em
I've got at least 5 volumes of 'Have a Nice Day!' in my CD rack along with Faust's first album and Cromagnon's
'Cave Rock'! But all I can tell you is, at least, the worst stuff in that list sounds like Howlin' Wolf's better stuff, if
compared to Tetsuya Komuro's mega-shitty pissed-off productions sweeping Japanese charts nowadays
Valerie Barnole
Thank you for giving me an opportunity to retrieve some of my favourites
when I was twelve !
Wow... I am amazed. After all these years, someone out there still remembers that old crap. Very comprehensive, I might add. I can't think of a single song that needs to be added. Along with Rundgren, I really hate to see the Carpenters on the list. Yeah they were schmaltzy in the first degree, but they were somehow cool about it. Just listen to Jonette Napolitano or Cracker covering their songs to see what I mean. Turbo Tom
I am a disc jockey at an oldies station (WSWZ Z-103.5 FM) in Lancaster, Ohio. My radio show has had a regular feature for the last three years called "Sucking in the Seventies," a very popular bit where I take a truly stinking 70's song and trash it. I can sympathize with you on the criticism from your readers, even if I don't agree totally with some of YOUR choices (Chicago?). Most recently I was pummelled with calls from Barry Manilow fans. Apparently the Board of Directors for the Barry Manilow Fan Club all reside in Central Ohio. I was accused of being an animal hater because one woman had a dog named "Mandy." JanQuility
I would LOVE to have a .WAV file of Morris Albert's "Feelings" with which to annoy my friends. DLKnGA
HELP! I am looking for a wav of Helen Reddy singing Angie Baby to torment a friend of mine with. (YES her name is Angie). Would you by chance have a copy of this? Is so, could you email it to me? THANKS!
Jim Donato
I see you have the Rolling Stones' "Angie," but HOW
could you forget their absolute nadir, "Hot Stuff?"
"Emotional Rescue" sucks wind pretty badly too.
Were there any songs from the 70s that you *did* like? Anyhow, I enjoyed your list. Robert Brooks
Every boldface song on your list triggered an immediate response, and if I hadn't been at work, I'd have sung each one out loud. Dan Deckert
While differences in personal taste keep me from agreeing with every pick on your list, I think you've done a great job of proving why the '70s were the nadir of modern popular music.
Carolyn 'Disco Lives' Munroe
Hey all you disco haters, I must admit I adore a lot of the songs that you have on that
list of yours, but it was hella funny. I am setting up a disco page and
was glad to find your page as a nice resource for long-lost disco i had
somehow missed! Damn if you think the seventies were bad wait until you
start compiling the eighties page....whew! Congrats on the pure thouroughness of your page!
Gayle Stamler
Barry Manilow "Copacabana" A pitiful bastardization of Latin rhythm. No melody. No hook. No soul.
There is an AM station up here (WKNX - Musical Memories 1250) who still plays most of this crap. Your list is basically their play list.
Darryl
I am glad that you put the village people in there! I always thought
they sucked! I do disagree with Kansas, Chicago, Toto and Todd Rundgren.
I think they were the only groups holding the 70's together! I glad you
didn't put any SAGA on the list.Truly a great band!
Keep up the great work. :) Anonymous
How could you have missed Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven," especially now that Debbie's dad covers it (a tie between which version is worse). (lost the name)
Actually, I don't have one to add. I just wanted to bring to your attention the fact that you have an "artist's," and I use that word very loosely, name misspelled. You have it as Blue Suede, when it is actually Blue Swede. I saw it on one of those un-Godly "Hey, the 70's are making a comeback" commercials the other day. Thank You. Tony
VG list of crap. There is enough gaggitude in there to keep any oldies DJ busy for a week. Melissa
You had me in tears laughing at this list. My CD collection consists of just about everything on this list. My friends call me the disco queen. Thanks for letting me know what a loser I am! W. Kiernan
I'm twenty years closer to death than I was in the seventies. My hair is half fallen out, my hands shake, my sex life is on the downhill slide, and my eyesight has gone to Hell. On the PLUS SIDE, these songs aren't on the radio all day. How can I complain? Dave Ehl
Your "Worst Songs of the 70's" web page is incredible. I never realized how bad the music was back then. I'm 37, so I thought it was the greatest decade for music. I don't know how you ever compiled such an incredible list. I must admit though, there are some songs there that I like. I was glad there was no Led Zeppelin on the list, except for "Stairway to Heaven." Not including that song on the list must have been a tough decision. It's web pages like yours that make the Internet great. Terry J. Pfeifer
you guys have hit the nail on the head with this site. it proves the age old addage, "if you post something strange, they will reply in droves." you must have hits out the ying-yang from this chestnut of web-based humor, and that's the point here, nobody gets it. it's humor, take some time to laugh and not take great stuff like so damn serious. Shelly McIntyre
I absolutely fucking love it! And to all those dopes out there who got their toes stepped on...fuck off! Eric Clapton always was, still is, and always will be a hack. And as for the rest of those sorry ass songs, it's a good thing we roast them, for if we do not, we will undoubtedly repeat them in the future. Jim Watts
i really have to agree with the majority of responses. many songs on your "list" are very good and even great. i'm curious; do you have any regrets for publishing your opinion. Don Krech
I'll take 'Angie' over 'Emotional Rescue' anyday. I'll take a skin graft over 'Emotional Rescue' Ariel Brosh
you really deserve respect for shouting out loud what all of us are afraid to admit
KR
Hey there - you've definitely made the point which was intended. This music can actually cause pain! Glad to see that you have chosen an appropriately painful background color also
Sarah Milstein
Thanx for that really great song list. I was like, oh wow, ya know :) You're really far out for giving me this
great list. You must be a really, like, beautiful person.
Kevin Powers
I just skimmed through your "worst" list , then chased it with a peek at your
hate mail. All of the respondents are full of shit. If you have any doubts,
exhume the graves of Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, and Janis Joplin...they all
'turned over' when that crap you listed hit the airwaves.
Mike Lush
I don't know what is funnier, your list or watching people read your list.
It is amazing to me just how personal people take music. Do they honestly expect every person in the world to like every single song they do?!? If everyone had the same opinion, the world would
be a very boring place. In a lot of the criticisms, people are saying that this page shouldn't be on the net. In my humble opinion, this is what the Internet is all about.
We have the right to say whatever we want to whomever wants to hear it.
This is a right I hope we never lose. More power to you.
I was reading through your "hate mail" and I think you may just want to post a big "get a life" for these people. Obviously they take their opinions too seriously. Although there were a few songs on the list I disagreed with, I would never expressly write and obscene or full of expletives note just to tell you that my opinion differed from yours. Some people take things WAY too seriously.
Ceptor
You should be very proud of your readership. They're quite a braintrust.
Don't let anyone suggest that your opinion isn't shared by thousands of others. If anything, I'd suggest that the strongest point the list makes is that these depraved souls who write in to sling their epithets have missed out on an entire universe of great music because all they ever did was listen to the radio J Leonard Westover
Being born in 1979, I got lucky and missed all but 10 months of the "Super 70's" as VH1 likes to put it. THANK GOD! I have heard about 95% of the music on that list, and I agree- IT IS HORRID! I think that everyone who wrote and was pissed off probably smoked too much reefer and OD'ed on LSD so much THEY are screwed up. Ralph Christensen
OK dirtwads, you nearly killed me. I laughed so hard at the responses to your list I was sucking air and couldn't breath for nearly 10 minutes. I was found laying on the floor with a blue face. I got up, read a few more responses and my family had to break my old computer to save my life. SabbathSAT
I think it's kinda cute that you might have succeeded in your objectives of pissing some people off.
Dave Lang
Just read the letters. Christ, the human race is turning to mud.
Martha Prewitt Levy
You certainly have a lot of musically deranged psychos criticizing your
page. I wonder how they got here in the first place???
Return with us now to the land of Bad Songs of the '70's or immerse yourself in less happy comments.
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