Man... or Astro-Man?:     Confidential!
by MOA & Curt Wells

Man... or Astro-Man? (MoA?)as a touring entity could not function properly without help from their two mobile technical support modules (mtsm's), sometimes refered to by their sub-group, "astro-slaves."  They are The Lounge Lizard and The Brannock Device.  While our heroes Man... or Astro-Man? are participating in a Mass-Hypnosis Experimentation (gullible humans believe these to be "concerts" or "shows" and usually PAY to be documented!  The simple creatures!)  The Lounge Lizard mans the projection deception units, and The Brannock Device maintains audio quality standards and offers real-time support to the Main Team.  Watch for The Brannock Device to breathe by bending over and slightly exposing his posterior oxygen exchange orfice- usually disguising this manuver by "adjusting" a microphone, or something of the like.  The Lounge Lizard must frequently maintain a precise body temperature by alternately cooling and heating his internal organs.  The coolant is disguised as "beer" and the heat is generated by what looks like, to the untrained eye, lighting ordinary cigarettes.

When transporting the mobile lab from city to city, which must occur frequently in order to keep the sampling of earth youth random, 90% of the driving is performed by the two astro-slaves.  The brains of these two are programmed to be able to quickly locate essential items, such as duct tape, guitar strings, or Little Debbie's snack cakes.  In order to reduce the upper brain power consumption, MoA? subjects the mtsm's to earth music, which confounds their information reception networks into submission.  What follows is a highly classified list of what MoA? finds to be most effective in this capacity:

*   Big Sandy and his Fly-Rite Boys -- Swingin' West

*   The Wedding Present -- Bizzaro

*   Tortoise -- Self Titled

*   Big Dipper -- Craps

*   The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion -- Orange

*   Walt Mink -- Bareback Ride

*   The Meanies -- 10% Weird

*   The Hi-Fives -- Welcome To My Mind

*   Jimmy Bryant & Speedy West -- Stratosphere Boogie

*   Doo Rag -- Chuncked and Meddled

Due to the sensitive nature of this document, please keep this list away from suspicious government types, who are constantly trying to triangulate the whereabouts of MoA? and steal their higher forms of scientific knowledge.

This information compilied by Curt Wells on 1/28/96.  He spends his free time in "the Lonely Housewife" chat rooms and playing in his band, Grumpy.  Eat the rich.